Wednesday, February 19, 2014 at 7:30AM Wishing a Happy Birthday to our oldest - Tania Grace - today!
YOU ARE AMAZING!!
We LOVE you & wish we could spend this day with you...
HUGS & KISSES from
Haiti
California
&
Germany
Wednesday, February 19, 2014 at 5:57AM The hum of fans surrounds us as sunlight peeks over rooftops, a hint of nearby charcoal fires & early morning clanking filters in from outside our metal gates. Yesterday was the first day of a new chapter in our Haiti journey. It has been great to get to know a few of the AP board members that are visiting this week, to hear their hearts for Haiti and for ministry and to share ours as well.
Second day in...no tears...a good sign. Still a little overwhelmed by the work to be done in unpacking, painting & settling, but optimism is creeping back in and who can stay down in a land of eternal sunshine??? Is there such a thing as SAD euphoria vs depression? If so, then I'll take it! I have to say, sunshine cures a lot of things in my world. I LOVE waking to it, even if it means there is another HOT day waiting ahead.
Day 2 ended with Ted fixing the dead battery in our car & an invite to eat dinner with our new duplex neighbors, the Van Wagenen's. Those were large blessings indeed, since we hadn't made it to the grocery market yet for food supplies & we had the added surprise of learning that we share "old stomping grounds" in New England with our next door friends!
Tuesday, February 4, 2014 at 5:23AM 
After a very busy & stressful final week in the US, which included a whirlwind trip to TX to pick up & move our stored items, an impromptu prayer breakfast in Rockwall, an open house for friends & family in Sacramento & Ted preaching at Faith Bible Church in Citrus Heights...we left our CA nest in an absolute upheaval and said a tearful goodbye to two of our youngest kiddos & ministry teammates. While we are SO proud of Tynan & Emma as they step out onto new paths in their journeys, we already miss them terribly and are fully comprehending the tight core that God developed between the four of us these past two years in Haiti together. It has been a remarkable blessing to share life in Haiti with them & we can't wait for their first visit!!
Ted did an amazing job getting this house thrown together before coming back to the US the past two weeks. Even so, it was hard for ME to feel like I was coming "home". The new surroundings after a lengthy time away threw me a bit, and with the fatigue of travel, missing the kids, personal items still packed away, little food in the house, and the basic change in culture & climate all led to an EPIC flood of tears. I'm not really much of a cryer in general, but found myself greeting the newly arrived Apparent Project board members, our team of potters, and the welcome from dear friends here with wet eyes too. Mortifying as this first impression probably was, it was cleansing at the same time & I'm grateful for their gracious love and kindness. I AM THRILLED to be back, but it's a paradoxical life that we live & my glad is mixed with sad in what and who we've left behind.
So it will be a week of reacclimation here for me, unpacking and settling in. Looking forward to the many blessings that we can appreciate better now and savoring the privilege of this opportunity to journey on here in Haiti.
-Rebecca
Tuesday, January 21, 2014 at 8:26PM Yes, we've moved AGAIN. With good reason...our housemates have resettled so downsizing was in order, we are basically right across the road from Apparent Project now & can walk to work again! Most importantly we are going to be living in and among the community and people that we'll serve with future business plans & maternity care.
Here is a sneak peek at our new digs in Haiti. Thumbs up for Ted Barlow, who has it all up & running.
Running water (not taken for granted like it is here) - CHECK
Inverter/charger & battery bank for daytime power - CHECK
Full 110 City power - CHECK
Windows with screens - CHECK
Washing machine hooked up & running - CHECK, CHECK
Garbage pick up - CHECK (700 gourdes cheaper even!)
Guard dog & 3 pest exterminators resettled - CHECK, Check & double CHECK
Monday, January 13, 2014 at 4:53PM
Now that the holidays are over and our family spread back out across the globe, I find myself having low points here & there. This just happens to be one of them. In trying to remain authentic and transparent about our life, living abroad and all that it entails, I’m writing from this place that I (Rebecca) am in at the moment.
First of all, God has blessed us greatly! We are looking at 2014 with FULL SUPPORT - praise Him again for doing the miraculous.
And yet I’m somewhat ashamed to say that our ministry efforts are feeling like such a slog…!
Getting into our new house in Haiti has already proven to be a 5-day event for Ted & he doesn’t even have the keys yet or a stitch moved in. The new Haitian-American landlord who we thought would be great to deal with has managed to make our transition quite difficult. In short, our funds come to us from Apparent Project, in country, in Haitian gourdes...that is typically a very helpful thing! Somehow, even though she is IN Haiti at the moment, the landlord is refusing to take Haitian money as pay. She is insisting on American dollars. According to a call from Ted today, it could cost us as much as $400-500 American dollars to convert our cash back to US dollars. We just don’t see how we can “waste” money on that.
I am here in the states still, a couple of weeks from the end of my contract, feeling very conflicted about going back to full-time life in Haiti after nearly 6 months away AND knowing that I will leave my two youngest behind. The weight of figuring out the best plan for them or how to help them figure it out themselves is still heavy on my heart. So, while the above conflict is probably only a minor one, THAT in itself becomes disheartening, especially when taking a painful and hard look at the sacrifices to be made in heading back shortly.
This is the honest reality of ministry. It is BEAUTIFUL and sometimes PAINFUL at the same time. I’m NOT embarrassed to say that I don’t always process it in a cheerful and positive and faith-filled frame of mind. Occasionally I do, but then what is the point, if God’s ultimate plan is the authoring & the perfecting of my faith? I mean it takes harder situations or chronic wearing down to challenge us to better faith, right? It takes moving beyond ourselves and doing what feels impossible or maybe just unpalatable at times. Sometimes the sacrifices seem too great to me, but then so was Christ’s choice to face death for us...wasn’t it? Often that’s the ONLY thing that carries me forward, pushes me beyond what my flesh desires. In these moments I feel more unworthy than ever to be His servant and yet a better recipient of His grace.
In the end, it’s all about what I choose to focus on:
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:13 nasb)
Just another day as a “child” in my Father's service…seeking a heart like His.
