third time's a charm

Yes, we've moved AGAIN. With good reason...our housemates have resettled so downsizing was in order, we are basically right across the road from Apparent Project now & can walk to work again! Most importantly we are going to be living in and among the community and people that we'll serve with future business plans & maternity care.

Here is a sneak peek at our new digs in Haiti. Thumbs up for Ted Barlow, who has it all up & running.

Running water (not taken for granted like it is here) - CHECK 

Inverter/charger & battery bank for daytime power - CHECK

Full 110  City power - CHECK

Windows with screens - CHECK

Washing machine hooked up & running - CHECK, CHECK

Garbage pick up - CHECK (700 gourdes cheaper even!)

Guard dog & 3 pest exterminators resettled - CHECK, Check & double CHECK

 

a weary journey moment.

Now that the holidays are over and our family spread back out across the globe, I find myself having low points here & there. This just happens to be one of them. In trying to remain authentic and transparent about our life, living abroad and all that it entails, I’m writing from this place that I (Rebecca) am in at the moment.  

First of all, God has blessed us greatly! We are looking at 2014 with FULL SUPPORT - praise Him again for doing the miraculous.

And yet I’m somewhat ashamed to say that our ministry efforts are feeling like such a slog…!

Getting into our new house in Haiti has already proven to be a 5-day event for Ted & he doesn’t even have the keys yet or a stitch moved in. The new Haitian-American landlord who we thought would be great to deal with has managed to make our transition quite difficult. In short, our funds come to us from Apparent Project, in country, in Haitian gourdes...that is typically a very helpful thing! Somehow, even though she is IN Haiti at the moment, the landlord is refusing to take Haitian money as pay. She is insisting on American dollars. According to a call from Ted today, it could cost us as much as $400-500 American dollars to convert our cash back to US dollars. We just don’t see how we can “waste” money on that.

I am here in the states still, a couple of weeks from the end of my contract, feeling very conflicted about going back to full-time life in Haiti after nearly 6 months away AND knowing that I will leave my two youngest behind. The weight of figuring out the best plan for them or how to help them figure it out themselves is still heavy on my heart. So, while the above conflict is probably only a minor one, THAT in itself becomes disheartening, especially when taking a painful and hard look at the sacrifices to be made in heading back shortly.

This is the honest reality of ministry. It is BEAUTIFUL and sometimes PAINFUL at the same time. I’m NOT embarrassed to say that I don’t always process it in a cheerful and positive and faith-filled frame of mind. Occasionally I do, but then what is the point, if God’s ultimate plan is the authoring & the perfecting of my faith? I mean it takes harder situations or chronic wearing down to challenge us to better faith, right? It takes moving beyond ourselves and doing what feels impossible or maybe just unpalatable at times. Sometimes the sacrifices seem too great to me, but then so was Christ’s choice to face death for us...wasn’t it? Often that’s the ONLY thing that carries me forward, pushes me beyond what my flesh desires. In these moments I feel more unworthy than ever to be His servant and yet a better recipient of His grace.  

In the end, it’s all about what I choose to focus on:

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:13 nasb)

Just another day as a “child” in my Father's service…seeking a heart like His.

 

a new year & a note...

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”  Isaiah 43:18-19 (niv)

To start, a side note on the verses above...I just want to be clear that in my mind it is not meant to infer that HAITI is a wilderness or a wasteland as some might say. Haiti is a land of infinite possibilities and amazing resources, not the least being it’s beautiful, resilient, hard working and often faith-filled people. The wilderness and wasteland I would refer to is my life, our lives…, and how God is using His work to redeem them. He is changing us at the very core and slowly creating beauty, love, patience and kindness out of selfishness, pride, greed and cultural blindness. It is a lifelong process to be sure, but He has been running us through a new training course and the lessons are fresh and sometimes painful. We do our best to keep up with the learning curve that He has us on!

I have no doubt that 2014 holds even more in that realm, but wanted to share on everyone’s behalf how our year is shaping up so far...

Right now we are feeling VERY blessed to have had time together here in California with family & friends. MAINLY with each other!! Ana & Oliver were here for a week and we got to lavish love & share fun memories with them that are rare and treasured. ALL of us but Olivia, spent Christmas together and the days surrounding it. Keep Olivia in your prayers as she continues to work through her healing process in a sequestered program in Texas. It has allowed no contact with her since August, but we pray is making an indelible change for the good in her life.

What is coming up for the rest of us?

Ana & Ollie head back to Germany on January 5th. They will find out within the coming year where they move to next and are hoping to be based back in the US one day soon.

Ted leaves for Haiti on January 6th for 2+ weeks, his return depends on his increasing responsibilities there and the move to our new living quarters near Apparent Project.

Tania Grace has decided to return to Texas where she she feels more “at home” right now and will be looking into pursuing a CNA position there instead.

Tynan & Emma are both starting new jobs here in California in the next week. We are working hard to form a “base” here for them to explore their futures from, within a network of support. Pray for all of us during this transition as Haiti remains more like HOME for them, separation still seems a little daunting, and they aren’t sure yet how much they will be able to come & go.

I (Rebecca) have 3.5 weeks left of my nursing contract here and am torn between taking a REAL break for a week or so, visiting others before returning, or just heading straight HOME after being gone for the better part of 6 months! I am BEYOND grateful for the additional support that has been coming in to stabilize our focus on ministry. As this refresher comes to an end, it looks like my work will be FULL TIME for Apparent Project, back in Haiti for 2014. (BIG smile!)

Apparent Project remains dedicated to sharing Christ’s love in tangible ways and fulfilling God’s commands in the area of orphan care by keeping families together. Our focus remains on strengthening at-risk and impoverished children and their parents through job creation, small business development, training & mentoring. We hope to expand the reach and impact of our work to the areas of prevention and restoration as we move forward. Providing services such as good maternity care, safe deliveries, and family stabilization are all on our planning and development list for the coming year.

Prayer and support are not only vital to our work in Haiti but also to us as average, everyday people. We all need relationships that connect us to our daily journey through life and we don’t know where we’d be without the love, support and anchoring that you provide...even when it’s from a distance. The ministry that we do in Haiti truly isn’t possible for us without the foundation of our faith, family and friends!

May God bless YOUR coming year in as many ways as you have blessed us -

Rebecca {for us all}