early navigation of in-country adoption

BACKWARDS

is a good way to describe this adoption in comparison to our others.

Agency adoption??

We've never done an agency adoption...

YES it's true we adopted SO LONG AGO that we were among the pioneers of independent adoption in Russia with an organization called Christian Adoption Project. This time around the content is similar, applications similar, but the process is very different. That said we are extremely GRATEFUL for Diana Boni @ All Blessings International who has experience with processing the unique cases of American-Haitian residents who already have met & often have custody of their kids. She has been a huge encouragement & we will rely on her knowledge and in-country staff to get everything moving along here very soon.

Bonding & Attachment??

We DO know a LOT now about THAT. However in our situation this time around we have a 2.5 yr long relationship with & actually have PHYSICAL CUSTODY of Syndie BEFORE we have legal guardianship or have begun the actual adoption process. It is a strange thing, but we have been entrusted with her care by the only legal guardian that she has, since her mom died in the earthquake of 2010. TOMORROW we all traipse down to IBESR to get the guardianship paperwork started!

Language?? 

Last time we learned very basic phrases in Russian & then studied and picked it up in Russia and upon our return with our girls. Thankfully this time around we have a better grasp of the language prior to kiddos entering our home...that said we've been on a sudden increased learning curve with our 6 yo chatterbug! Opposite situations in this realm however are the fact that we'll be raising kids in their native country, native language, but an American culture household. We're currently all speaking Haitian Kreyol at home, except for Ted & I between ourselves. So we're not at all sure when to start the transition or integration of English language acquisition.

& COMPLEX 

is another word we use a lot here, but especially in regards to transitioning an older adopted child in their OWN home country.

Education??

Syndie is attending a local Haitian school...studying in Kreyol & French at present. She is behind her agemates and requiring specila tutoring. In order to be ready for 1st grade next year they say whe will have to work though the entire summer. At what point do we peel her away from the familiar & her native tongue to study in English & make sure that she will be at grade level in EITHER or BOTH countries that she resides in?

Friends??

Hopefully this one will work itself out in time, but this past week it has been one of our BIGGEST challenges. One of the few "friends" that Syndie has among our family community here, that bridge her present and past, is our friend Jessica's little girl, Phoebe Kate. In fact PK is the ONLY kiddo here that ever visited Syndie in her orphanage over the past few years. We are blessed to have the girls together enjoying Syndie's freedom to visit Phoebe Kate at her house now too! The reality is that they are at the END of their backwards adoption journey at last & Phoebe is FINALLY moving to the US for the very first time on Thursday. We are happy for them, but will miss them tremendously!!!

Syndie has verbalized NOT wanting to visit anyone at her orphanage and yet has a limited ability to communicate and get to know any of our friends' english speaking kids.

School is the only place where she can communicate freely with other kids right now, but that has presented  it's own issues. This past week a little girl from school, who is quite a bit older than Syndie seemed to have befriended her & came by to "visit". This turned into daily "play" time which was HOURS long...  We thought at first that it would be good for her since she isn't used to being an only child surrounded by adults. Slowly over this past weekend that has gone downhill. BY the end I found myself struggling with giving grace & wisdom & compassion to her and feeling guilty all the same!

I was always the mom who kept an ear out when friends were around to make sure everyone was playing well & communicating appropriately. With a Haitian schoolmate that speaks no english I immediately felt some what disadvantaged at knowing whether they were talking and playing nice.  I decided not to worry too much, but check on them frequently, assess Syndie's countenance & see if she seemed ok. That worked fine. Then a few red flags started going off.

Frist of all, Syndie came in every hour saying she was hungry and asking for something to eat...even though she had eaten more than usual. Next the little girl who was twice her size came out with Syndie's clothes on...a sundress as a top here,  pajama pants as shorts there... we entered uncharted territory as I tried to give caring guidance! How do you NICELY ask a girl who probably has very little, to take off & return your daughter's clothes that are 6 sizes too small? How do you politely change the subject for the 4th time when your daughter asks for food, when you've already fed two full meals AND several snacks during a playdate? How do you ford the waters of generosity & yet NOT undermine or disrespect a little girl's own family who you have (by the way) NEVER MET? Is it even appropriate to ask to meet her mom/family down the road? 

Unfortunately this particular situation got out a little more out of hand... Fun turned into an "agenda", trying to steal Syndie's clothes and lying about it... Sadly, in the end I had to send her home and let her know that Syndie would only see her at school.

Poor Syndie was a trooper & said that she understood, but I struggle with knowing that this may be the norm when it comes to her trying to have local Haitian friends. And so the BIG changes in her life ensue and the valley of separation that we knew would be inevitable from her old life begins to grow wide and rocky and deep. If it wasn't for the joy, the hugs and seeing her SOAK up love & touch like water to one in a desert, I would grieve more with her...SHE would grieve more too. But I didn't see that on her face at the end of the day, just the smile and giggles of a well nourished, well rested little girl who is BRAVELY learning a new way of life and just feels GOOD!

reposting: Postcards from Haiti...

Because I just can't DO JUSTICE to Haiti as well as this myself, I wanted to post recent links to a blog series, by J.C.Schaap, that I have been enjoying & that hits it square on...

Postcards from Haiti (i)

Postcards from Haiti (ii)

Postcards from Haiti (iii)

Postcards from Haiti (iv)

Postcards from Haiti (v)

Postcards from Haiti (vi)

Postcards from Haiti (vii)

Hope you ENJOY another glimpse into life here in Haiti....!!!

Happy Tuesday

Back in Haiti - day 3 - normalcy?

Yesterday we finally got out and about to do some of our errands.

First order of business: finding a different Freezer/Fridge set up for this house. The kitchen is much smaller & we have no more housemates, so it was time to downsize our big chest fridge. So we are selling our current freezer & bought a 4 & a 5 cu ft chest freezer, to replace it. We have had no freezer at all since our regular refrigerator was killed by our bad power last year!

Let me try to explain why I am calling them all "freezer"...with our power set up we are always trying to live using less energy. There will invariably be days, maybe even weeks during the year where we have NONE! Running a generator is expensive, noisy & limited, so we try to live as much off the grid as we can so that it won't affect us as much. One of our near-future plans is to get solar power set up so that our batteries are used less & continually filled during the day. That means that we would be much better off with our basic power needs in the case of no electricity for a longer period of time.

As it is we have power from the city for about 8 hours every night. This charges our battery banks & then during the day we can keep food cold in the fridge & use our laptops/internet & fans! We have found that you can use a special thermostat to convert a chest freezer into a fridge. The reasoning behind it is that cool air drops, so when you open a chest freezer the warm air pushes the cold air down and keeps it inside, unlike in an upright, where the cold air pours right out! Also, freezers are typically better insulated so they stay cold longer. Some sites documented using only 8% of the energy that it took for a regular fridge, so a 92% kwh reduction. This means our fridge will be able to work on solar power once we set that up too!

Here is our new set up:

It was also a lift to my spirits to just go out & do a normal thing like shopping for those items & also some groceries. At our local hardware store, MSC, we ran into a couple of "friends" which immediately renewed my sense of community here and of belonging. They have recently had a stint in the US & left a young adult daughter behind as well, so it was sweet that God placed them in our path for a few minutes of brief conversation. Tara is also a midwifery student working in a birthing center here, so we had a chance to chat about that as well. It was a fleeting moment of semi-normalcy, in a place where when meeting up with friends, getting out to the store & shopping around town are NOT a daily occurence! Spending the day out helped lift the struggle in adjustment to the confinements of our life here, which had hit me hard upon arrival. 

In a recent blog post, Tara wrote

 "I submit to you that pain is a part of life. Goodbyes are a part of life.  Disappointment is a part of life.  Messing up is a part of life. Starting over is a part of life. LOVE and sacrifice are a part of life.They are worth the pain. Love washes over these things, love lights the path when things get dark or scary or very, very sad. Love gives you courage to do hard things."

read more on adoption & imperfect parenting, here...

I am so thankful for the other expats/missionaries that we know here who understand. It is an encouragement & reminder of God's faithfulness to us all.

So, in addition to our fridge set up, we also found a NEW best friend!!!

Meet "Winter" our first ever air conditioner. She is portable and refreshing, as our new place has very little breeze. We've made a very short list of items that we felt were imperative in staying here for the long haul & this was definitely one of them.

For Hugo's ever expanding fan base out there...he continues to do great & every day proves himself by far, to be the sweetest, easiest dog that we have ever owned! He's a little joy & delight to everyone that meets him & hasn't found an enemy yet. Here is the little traveler all crashed out:

Sixty seconds in Haiti...

that puts ALL of our previous "glimpse of Haiti" videos to shame!

ENJOY 

Thank you to Kohl Threlkeld @ Artefact Haiti for generously sharing his delightful film.

So much talent in such a little country!

random June news...

Tynan & I (Rebecca) finally received physical DIPLOPMA's signifying our graduations from LeTourneau University in May and bringing an end to our studies for a while...well at least mine! We even took a few courses together, such as CS Lewis, the man & his works and Non-verbal communication. FUN times!

Tynan received his Associate in Interdisciplinary Studies degree.

Mine is a Bachelor of Human Services.

It's always nice to have a little hard work pay off with tangible results...!

Father's Day was generally a quiet one here, since Haitian Father's Day isn't until the end of the month and most Haitians tell us they don't really ccelebrate it much here...poor dad's.

Ted did enjoy a promised gift of more planters for his ever expanding patio garden, and dined al fresco with two of his kiddos over a home cooked dinner of lemon noodles, Haitian fried chicken, veggies & and a 7 layer oatmeal, coconut, chocolate chip dessert!

This month Emma also started the final leg of her high school education, including a Senior Practicum that she is very excited about! She is going to be slowly taking over full household management over the next three months. Not only is she getting credit, enjoying the challenge, and learning a LOT, but it has been a ministry that helps lighten the load for the rest of us as we focus on our new tasks.

Look at her latest creations:

YUM!!!!! Nice "working" breakfast for Ted & I this morning...

as if creating goodies to nourish us isn't enough...she designed this for her online art course as well:

Last Friday Tynan & I rolled out a new event at the Apparent Project boutique, cafe & book nook with the first ever STORYTIME! It was a great turn out, allowed moms to enjoy the cafe and a browse of the artisan's work, while the kids were absorbed by several "animal" stories. This week it will be Dr. Seuss!

 If you're in Port Au Prince on a Friday morning this summer drop by the Apparent Project and join us at 10 am...with (or even without) your kids!  @ Rue Cassagnol Prolongee #16, Delmas 75  

Last news worthy event up to date was a very special birthday party for one of our favorite people...

Little Miss Phoebe Kate turned FOUR!

Phoebe & her mommy, our dear friend Jessica Williamson, lived with us for most of last year before moving up the hill to Thomassin. We still miss having a little one in the house, but they are like family now, so it was an honor to enjoy another birthday with our little unofficial "niece". Looking forward to many many more!

So....that's a random summer news from Haiti wrap!